Meltdown
by no1cares
Summary: Because two ice cubes are hot headed. Because the fox and the hound aren't friends. Because fruits and fruit flies aren't the same. Because flowers will someday wilt. Because, well, just because. Sakura Centric. 7 are going on vacation. Chaos ensues. R&R
1. Convincing

**Title:** Meltdown

**Summary:** Because two ice cubes are hot headed. Because the fox and the hound can never be friends. Because fruits and fruit-flies aren't the same. Because flowers will someday wilt. Because, well, just because. Sakura Centric.

**Disclaimer: **I ain't a thief. Only the plot is mine.

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><p>They're <em>idiots<em>. Because, well, just because.

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><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

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><p>As boredom silently crept on the life of Haruno Sakura, chaos ensued Konoha. She sat quietly on her bed watching puffy white smoke invade the sky. Seriously, she swore, Shikamaru's lazy antics were rubbing off on her. The thought of the pineapple haired boy made her chuckle. She wondered how Ino could possibly put up a conversation with him.<p>

_Sigh._

Tsunade had given her a week long break from all the consecutive A rank missions she completed. The twenty year old medic tried to refuse the Godaime but the _elder _woman insisted, stating that it was good for her _social_ life.

Sakura frowned at the thought. She had a social life! Or so she thought. Surely all the nurses in the hospital were her friends. But...

She closed her eyes, not wanting to admit that the blond drunkard was right. Her social life **was** a mess. But weren't shinobi supposed to do their duties first before entertaining personal problems? Sakura wondered what the woman was up to. Realizing that she had been forced to take a break stirred suspicions.

Brushing the idea off she wondered about what she was gonna do for a whole week. She guessed she could go and visit her friends. Surely Hinata wouldn't mind spending the day with her. But then, Hinata was busy at the hospital. Sakura shrugged. Ever since Sakura started talking to the girl about the work in the hospital, the Hyuuga Heiress had volunteered to help out in the hospital. In the long run, she got to be a medic nurse.

_Hmm..._

Then what about Ino? Running the flower shop. Tenten? Probably busy with her weapons and stuff. Actually, they weren't really that close. Spending time with her might be a little awkward. Temari? She's in Suna. Probably with her brothers. And she really didn't know the fan Meister that much. So... who?

_Knock! Knock! _

'A visitor? Who could it be?' she thought as she got up and headed to the door.

Turning the knob she was surprisingly greeted by Naruto's grin as he pushed to open the door fully. Sakura's reflexes made her jump back to avoid the collision between her nose and the wood.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto embraced her tightly.

"NARUTO-BAKA!" Being too close to comfort, the whiskered blond met with a chakra enhanced fist that sent him flying 50 feet over the air.

After crashing on the ground with a loud THUMP Naruto ran as fast as he could to Sakura's house. Staring at his pink haired friend he gave her a thumbs up to assure her that he was okay. In return, the kunoichi rubbed her temples and decided to give him a small smile.

"Sakura-chan, you're so harsh." Naruto joked.

"Well, you were sexually harassing me, idiot." she laughed as she held her stomach.

Naruto gave a light chuckle and smiled at her. It had been a month since they sat down and chatted. She was so busy taking orders from the Hokage and he was busy with ANBU missions.

"Oh, hey c'mon in." she gestured as he stepped inside and got comfortable on her sofa.

"So, Naruto, what brings you here?" she asked after closing the door and seated herself opposite from him.

"Well, you see, Sakura-chan, we're gonna go on a trip to an Island resort called Yomi, in Rock country and the guys and I were wondering if you wanna come with us." Naruto fidgeted.

"Oh, well, don't you guys have missions or something? You know, Naruto, it's not good to be sneaking out and not do your duties as an ANBU, especially when Itachi-nii-chan is your captain."

Sakura smiled at the thought of Itachi. The man had grown quite fond of the kunoichi and offered her to call him her onii-chan. At first, Sakura felt that the Uchiha was acting all pedophile-like, but then she had grown accustomed to calling him that. Everyone knew about how his and Sakura's close relationship and were aware of them calling each other with familiarity. The majority found them cute though some, obviously referring to the younger Uchiha, found them disturbing. Or annoying. Either he had a brother complex or... impossible. He definitely had a brother complex. Or so they thought. (OKAY. We're getting way off topic here. Haha. Now. ON WITH THE STORY!)

"Actually, teme's brother all gave us guys a break. And now we're planning on our vacation!"

"But what about the other girls?"

"We already asked them and they couldn't come 'cause they had lots of stuff to do."

"Oh yeah, well, count me in!" she flashed him a smile.

"Yosh! Sakura-chan! You are in for the greatest vacation in your life!" Naruto grinned as he made his way to the door.

"Oh and, uh, pack your bags. We're goin' tomorrow." and with that Naruto left an unsure Sakura with a disturbed expression.

"I HOPE I didn't do something I'd sooner regret." she said to herself as she paced around looking for her travel bag.

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><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**


	2. Airplanes, Calls, and Cab Drivers

_They really _**are**_ idiots._

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><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_

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><p><em>6:45 am<em>

She had just arrived at the airport before everyone else. After receiving a text from Naruto that they'd all meet up at the port at exactly 6:50 am, being the obsessive compulsive woman that she is, arrived 5 minutes before the exact time. She sat on a bench and settled her stuff next to her. She wasn't really informed with what to bring since asking Naruto for the tenth time meant getting the same frickin' answer, so she brought what she thought would be beneficial and practical.

She brought 5 huge- no wait, scratch that- humongous bags. How's that for practical?

_6:49 am_

She was still on her spot. Alone. With her 5 gigantic bags. Until she saw two figures walking towards her.

"Sasuke?" yes, Sakura had gotten over the younger Uchiha after realizing how much of a bastard he was.

At this the Uchiha grunted which turned the woman's attention to his companion.

"Neji-san?"

"Ah, Haruno-san-"

"Sakura, you may call me Sakura." she smiled.

Obviously startled at her comfortableness he muttered an "Ah." which earned a giggle from the kunoichi.

"So you were the only female to accompany us, huh?"

"You say that as if it was a bad thing!" Sakura faked a pout.

At this, the Hyuuga let a faint blush creep up his pale face.

"It is." the Uchiha butted in.

"And why is that, _Sasuke_?" she gave him a light glare making the other man stare at him.

"Because you'd be surrounded by six _men_ in an island." Sasuke stated not making any eye contact with the two.

"You make it sound like you're gonna rape me, Sasuke-_kun_." Sakura placed her index finger on her bottom lip making her look all innocent.

"Maybe I would." Sakura and Neji stared in disbelief.

"Who knows" the raven haired man smirked at their expressions.

Uchiha Sasuke. The Uchiha Sasuke. Did. Not. Just. Say. That.

"Eeew. Sasuke! Who knew you'd be a closet perv? I mean, I never thought Kakashi's perversion would rub off on you." Sakura pointed an accusing finger on the Uchiha. "Neji-_kun_," she turned to the brunette, resulting to a pink Hyuuga. "please protect me from this pervert!"

The Hyuuga gulped and nodded his head lightly as he turned away from the over dramatic female.

Clearly amused of his current situation with the unlikely two he added, "Don't you think trusting your dignity with Hyuuga is futile?"

"Huh?"

"Sakura, you're too dense. He _is_ a man you know. Even if he looks like a girl-"

"Hey!"

"-he still has a-"

"I know, Sasuke. I am not that naive little girl anymore. I can handle myself. And besides, I know Neji-_kun_ would never do that." she said as she pretended to check her nails.

"And why is that, dear cherry blossom?"

"Because then I'd have to castrate him."

_SIMPLE._

The Uchiha shrugged at her answer. He had forgotten, for a moment, that **she** _was_ the _**Godaime's apprentice**_.

"Ah."

Just as awkward silence were about to fill pollute the atmosphere, the infamous loud _male _blond walked in with a scowling Inuzuka in tow.

"Sakura-chan!" Naruto shouted as he waved his arms.

"Dobe." it's _obvious_ who said this.

"Teme!"

"Hyuuga-sama!" and at that Naruto went and bowed to the Hyuuga.

Confused and uninterested, the others lightly brushed the scene off.

"Ah, Kiba-kun," Sakura stated, noticing that the dog boy was completely ignored the second the blond had acted idiotically. "I'm surprised Akamaru isn't with you."

"Yeah, he didn't like airplanes that much and he wasn't a fan of being put in a cage either. Too many bad memories." Kiba shrugged.

"Ah."

And then silence engulfed the group.

.

..

...

"I'm tired of waiting for them. Let's go on ahead." Naruto muttered as he scratched his head.

"Who else are we waiting for?" Sakura asked.

And as Naruto attempted to answer the woman, as if on cue, the pineapple headed actician and the bug boy appeared with their usual expressions on their faces.

"Sorry we're late." the Aburame bowed apologetically at the four.

"Ah, that's fine! We were gonna wait for you anyway."

"Naruto, you liar!" Sakura said as she threw him a glare.

"Well, now that we're all complete, what time does our plane leave?" Neji asked.

"It leaves in..." Naruto glanced at his watch. "15 MINUTES!"

"We gotta hurry!" Sakura rushed.

"Women." Neji groaned.

"Tch. Yeah." Sasuke muttered.

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><p><em>Airplane rides are always fun.<em>

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><p><strong>Or so they think.<strong>

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><p>"So, how is Naruto affording this trip?" Sakura said as she sat next to Kiba and Shikamaru.<p>

"I believe that he won this trip by accident." the Nara replied with a bored expression.

"Pray tell."

"Well, while he was assigned on a mission with me and Neji, on the way back home he stumbled upon a paper."

"And what was on this paper?"

"It was a contest. And this was the prize."

"Naruto won a contest? I can't believe it! The only way he could win a contest was if it was-" she looked at Kiba and then at Shikamaru who nodded their heads.

"Ramen Eating Contest!" Naruto shouted as he gave the pink kunoichi a thumbs up.

The three sweatdropped. Naruto, who was sitting next to Shino, was unfortunately seated diagonally from the three while the two ice cubes of Konoha had been seated in the very back with two fat chicks dangerously flirting with them. The horror.

"I believe the Uchiha and the Hyuuga are emotionally constipated fools and therefor would not be the slightest bothered with the situation even if it were to be considered as a cruel fate for any other member of the male species." the fox boy stated plainly as he looked at the two ice cubes, sweating as if they were about to melt.

"_Sasuke-kuuun..!_" the blond fattie placed her hand on the Uchiha's chest as he continued to look stoic. "I _like_ your _muscles_."

"_Neji-kuuun_!" the red head fattie intertwined her fingers with the Hyuuga's as she seductively played with his hair. "Your hair is so_ smooth_."

The two males could hardly take it when they felt some spit on their faces.

_Poor bastards._

"Pain is sweet." Sakura smirked at the two. "Although I feel sad for Neji."

"Fate is a bitch." Neji muttered.

"Got that right." Sasuke managed to say after attempting to shove the overweight woman off of him for the 30th time.

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><p><em>Because nothing is more scarier than 5 missed calls from mom.<em>

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><p>VACANT <strong>OCCUPIED<strong>

_"Sasu-chan? Sasu-chan?" _Mikoto's voice could be heard from the Uchiha's phone.

"Okaa-san. I'm here." Sasuke rolled his eyes as the others stared at him.

"_I told you to call when you arrived!_"

"I'm calling you now aren't I?"

The others were trying to hold back their laughter at the nickname.

"_But Sasu-chan! That's not the same_!"

"I'll call you later, Okaa-san." he sighed as he closed his phone.

Glancing at the others he noticed that they were trying their best not to laugh at his face. Keyword: _trying._ Annoyed, the Uchiha shot them his death glare.

"Okay okay, Sasuke. Chill." Sakura smiled.

"Um, excuse me, where might you be heading?" the cab driver hesitantly asked.

"To the fish port please!" Naruto beamed at the cowering driver who started the engine and drove off.

"Uh, Naruto, what are we gonna do at the fish port?" the woman (who called shot gun first) asked.

"Well, I've arranged boat to take us to the island."

"Excuse me for barging in your conversation, but did I hear you right? The island, you say? Do you mean Yomi?" the unnamed driver asked.

"Why yes, you are right, unnamed driver." Naruto nodded.

_Baka._

"What about it?" asked a curious Sakura.

']"There's a legend about that island. They say that a great monster lives on that island."

"Monster?" the Kyuubi Jinchuriki laughed. "I ain't scared of no monster."

"The monster eats people."

"Orochimaru's a pedophile and_ he _sounds scarier."

"Let me rephrase it. The monster eats stupid people."

"Whaa-?"

They all laughed except Naruto who had kept on shouting at the others.

"You guys are mean!"

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><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_


	3. Of boat rides and foolishness

_Idiots will always be idiots, you know._

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><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

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><p>She loved the fact that there was a legend about the island. Even if the guys considered it as stupid and lame. In fact, Haruno Sakura could never have been any happier. At least there was a mystery about the island. And she couldn't wait to test if it was, indeed, a fact.<p>

"Aren't you guys excited?" Sakura beamed.

No one was listening to the kunoichi. Noticing that they were on a boring boat ride to a stupid island, Neji and Sasuke decided to have a glaring contest, Shikamaru was cloud gazing, Shino was talking to a random bug and the fox and the hound had been puking for over an hour since they rode the boat.

"Geez. And I thought you guys were strong. Never knew you'd be sea sick." Sakura crossed her arms and sat next to the boat driver.

Coincidently, the boat guy had also been the cab driver. Guess it was his day job.

Sigh.

Sakura hoped that the hotel would be great, if not, then she'd totally lose it. As she rubbed her temples a hand slid down her shoulder and held her waist. Much to Sakura's surprise, it was none other than the Uchiha himself.

"Ne, isn't it a little too early to be sexually harassing me now, Sasuke-kun?" she said as she placed her her hand over his.

"No, Sakura, it's not." he smirked as he attempted to lean in.

"Oh no you're not!" Sakura smashed his face.

"OW! Bitch!" Sasuke cursed as he rubbed his sore face.

"Ne ne, Sasu-chan, ain't that a bit harsh?" Sakura smirked.

"Whatever. The more you play hard to get, the more you turn me on." now Sasuke smirked as he nursed his swollen cheek.

"Haha. Do whatever you want, Sasu-chan. You still ain't gettin' under this." she turned away as if she was annoyed with him.

Oh how the tables have turned.

"Hn." the Uchiha grunted as he sat back on his seat next to a smirking Hyuuga.

"Shut up."

"I didn't even say anything."

"Hn."

"Sasu-chan."

"Oh it's so on, Hyuuga!"

"I never knew you guys were gay." at this both boys shot a menacing glare the female.

"Neji-kun, if I knew you were gay then I'd probably wouldn't have hit on you at the airport." Sakura stated so innocently.

The others, except for the ice cubes, of course, turned to the direction where Sakura sat and nodded in agreement.

"I'M NOT GAY!" the two shouted in unison.

"At least I'm not! The Hyuuga here, I think he's a transvestite judging by his hai-"

"Hey! Uchiha! I'm not the one who kissed Naruto over there!"

"That was an accident!"

"Yeah right!"

"What about your shampoos? Huh? Such girly shampoos!"

"Well, I'm not like you insignificant fools! I actually observe proper hygiene!"

"Says the one who spied on Lee using his Byakugan."

"DENIAL!" the pink haired woman shouted. "It's not just a river in Egypt, you know."

"Wha-?"

"The hell?"

"The first step is DENIAL! Then you go and find courage and you go and confess your feelings and then you kiss and then you-"

"Sakura! You read too many yaoi mangas."

"So?"

"You think it's hot right?"

"Eh?" Sakura blushed and refused to look at the two.

And then the boat crashed into some rocks and the passengers noticed that they were at the island.

"NOW GET OUT!" the boatman quickly tossed them and their luggage off the boat and drove off quickly.

The group shrugged and quickly averted their eyes from the boat to the hotel.

* * *

><p>They knew that it was just as big as Micheal Jackson's mansion in the pictures but this was just <strong>ridiculous<strong>.

"I call shot gun on the coolest room in the hotel!" Sakura ran and shouted with ecstatically.

The boys had noticed that she was not carrying any of her luggage.

"If she's expecting us to carry all her stuff then count me out. It's too troublesome." Shikamaru sighed.

"You do it Uchiha." Neji stated.

"Why?" Sasuke raised a brow.

"Seeing as though it is obvious to anyone that you want to get in her pants so bad. You do it."

"Hn. Fine. Knowing that I am the strongest and only man here." Sasuke smirked.

"I don't care." Shikamaru rolled his eyes.

"I am not falling for that, Uchiha." Neji stated.

"TEME! I'M STRONGER THAN YOU!" Naruto quickly ran and grabbed all of the things (even Sasuke's) and carried them up to the hotel.

"Dobe"

"Hn"

"Baka"

"Idiot."

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><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**


	4. I'm surrounded by idiots

_Because life ain't fair, even for idiots._

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><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**n

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><p>Though no one ever expected for the hotel to be ridiculously gigantic, everyone kept their cool. They casually walked in the lobby, well except for Naruto who was struggling with the bags and looked like he was gonna have a heart. attack.<p>

"Sakura-chan! Your bags are heavy!" he yelped as he put down the bags loudly.

"Oh shut your mouth, dobe and go check us in." the Uchiha ordered as he placed his hands on his pockets, coolly.

"Yeah, Uzumaki." Neji added.

"You guys aren't the boss of me!" Naruto yelled at the two who simply rolled their eyes.

"Naruto... please do check us in." a surprisingly calm Sakura stated as she placed her hands on her hips.

"Uh, alright Sakura-chan!" he happily obliged.

As Naruto went to check them in, the others were finding themselves drawn to the bar where they got complimentary drinks. They noticed that not many people were in the hotel, this made Neji a little curious.

_Hmm..._

"This cherry juice is so delicious! Wanna try it?" Sakura asked the boys who slightly blushed.

"Sure, only when it comes from your mouth." Sasuke smirked.

"Really, Sasuke?" she frowned at him who only smirked wider.

Not long after 5 minutes Naruto joined the group.

"Hey guys, we're all checked in. Let's go see our rooms!" Naruto beamed as he took his bag and some of Sakura's with him and gave it to the bell boy.

They were led by a hotel employee through tons of corridors and hallways and a lot of doors.

"Are we there yet?" a very tired Uzumaki asked.

"We are here." the employee opened a huge door with a key Naruto had been given.

"Whoah." all exclaimed as they saw the room.

It had fine furniture in the living room as well as the kitchen, a plasma screen t.v., seven huge bedrooms with their own personal bathrooms. While they were adoring the room the employee left and gave Naruto back the key.

"Oh my gosh, guys look at the view from here!" Sakura shouted as she stood outside the balcony.

"This is so awesome." Naruto said as he checked the place out.

"Hey, guys look at this. This is too creepy." Kiba yelled from one of the bedrooms.

"Yeah look at this one too." Naruto yelled from the other room which was opposite to Kiba's.

And so the others rushed to what was all the ruckus about. Okay, so they didn't rush. They took their time, not caring about what the fox and the hound were talking about.

"What's wrong, guys?" Sakura asked with much annoyance, seeing as they disturbed her moment in the balcony.

"Look at this, Sakura-chan! Isn't this weird?" Naruto dragged the kunoichi into an orange room with fox decorations.

"Wha-?"

She stared. And stared. And stared. And stared.

"Big deal, maybe they were nice enough and custom designed it for you."

"But how could they know me?"

"Well, you **are famous **Naruto. With you being a jinchuriki and all."

"Hm... maybe. But what about Kiba?"

"Huh?"

And then Kiba dragged Sakura with a tailing Naruto to the opposite room.

"Explain this."

Sakura and the others stared at the room decorated with dog decorations.

"You guys are ridiculous,"

"I could understand how they could do that to the other room, I was the one who one this trip and I am indubitably famous. But how'd they know that Kiba was coming with me? And what about the other rooms?"

"The other rooms?"

So they all checked out the others and found out that it was as creepy as the two previous rooms. There was a room decorated in pink. There was a blue one. A white one. One with a pineapple on near the night lamp and one with bug designs.

"This is suspicious."

"Who cares?" the pink haired kunoichi yelled.

"You guys keep on being pessimistic about all this stuff and you miss all the good things right before your eyes." she acted as if she was about to make a very important speech as she stood on a chair.

"Stop acting all weird about this and enjoy this vacation!" Sakura exclaimed as the guys exchanged looks.

"Hn."

"Fine."

"It's too troublesome to worry anyway."

"..."

"Yeah!"

"DATTEBAYO! You're right, Sakura-chan! We should enjoy this vacation!"

She smiled at the six who began to act normal again.

"Now, I GET THE PINK ROOM!" Sakura zoomed to get her stuff and settle in the room.

"It's not like we wanted it anyway."

The boys nodded and proceeded to settle their stuff in their own rooms.

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes, idiots tend to be too dense.<em>

* * *

><p>"Hey, what do you guys want for dinner?" Naruto asked the gang as they got comfortable at the hotel restaurant.<p>

It was extravagant really, with all the chandeliers and expensive furniture and silverware. Heck, even the atmosphere was expensive. Too ridiculous for their taste.

"What'll you have miss?" the red-headed waiter asked.

"Hmm..." Sakura wondered as she looked through the menu.

She was wearing a really nice red dress that stopped above her knee with a v neck line that stopped just below her chest, showing off her cleavage (what a site it must've been for the boys) and thought that it would be a shame if she got it ruined.

"I'll just have the salmon please." she smiled noticing the facial features of the waiter.

"Okay, salmon it is."

_Wait._

She remembered that voice. And his looks. But she couldn't remember clearly.

"Uh,"

She received questioning looks from her companions. She brushed the sight off and decided to keep quiet and enjoy the night.

"We'll be having the steak." Naruto and Kiba ordered.

"And we'll have the salmon as well." Neji spoke for the other three.

As the waiter left they all looked at Sakura's exasperated expression.

"What's wrong?"

"Nothing..." she forced a weary smile.

"Aww, Sakura-chan! Be happy! We're on vacation after all!" Naruto beamed.

"Yeah."

After a few minutes of idle chitchat, their orders came.

"Salmon, for the lovely miss." it wasn't the same waiter before, he had silver hair and was looking awfully pissed at something.

"Ah, thank you." she forced a smile at the waiter.

He didn't bother to shoot one back and presented the others their meals. After that, he left mumbling out curses.

"What was that about?" Kiba asked as he attacked his steak.

"He's probably been dumped." Naruto said as he did the same.

"Poor guy."

"Hey, after this, we should go dancing! I hear the hotel's got a club!" Sakura beamed as she left her fork hanging from her mouth.

"Don't you think that's a bad idea?" Shikamaru stared at the pink kunoichi.

"No. Why? Do you?" Sakura asked as she copied the shadow manipulator's expression.

"How troublesome." he said as he rubbed his temples.

"Aww, Shika-kun!" Sakura beamed.

"Ahh, for godsakes woman. Fine. We'll go dancing." he snapped.

Sakura smirked and chuckled at the sight. Shikamaru could only imagine how bothersome Sasuke's life with team seven must've been. Sure, Ino was just annoying and as manipulative but Sakura had just brought it to a level even the genius himself couldn't bear with. Or maybe it was just his hormones.

_Damn._

* * *

><p><em>Sometimes it sucks to be an idiot.<em>

* * *

><p>The club was loud and many people were on the dance floor grinding up on each others bodies. The gang took a table near the dance floor as they waited for Sakura who had went to the water closet to refresh herself. As they waited they had ordered drinks and apparently Naruto and Kiba got it on the dance floor. The sight made the other four want to puke but they held themselves.<p>

"Isn't this fun, guys?" Sakura smiled as she sat between Sasuke and Neji.

The two glared at each other as they caught themselves staring at Sakura's bottom when she sat down.

"Hn."

"..."

"Are you guys alright?" Sakura asked, glancing at the two who refused to have any eye contact with anyone.

"You guys..." at that she stood and grabbed their wrists.

She pulled them on the dance floor and started grinding on them.

"S-Sakura-san..." Neji gulped.

"Hn." Sasuke smirked as he grabbed the girls waist and made her back face him.

He danced in sync with her as he watched the Hyuuga glare at him. Without thinking and was clearly on the influence of alcohol he grabbed her waist and started dancing with her too.

"Hyuuga."

"Uchiha."

"Oh will you guys just shut up and make out already?" Sakura smirked at the two.

"Looks like Naruto and Kiba beat you to it." she laughed pointing at the other two who were clearly taken over by the alcohol.

"S-Sakura-san. I am not gay." Neji reasoned. "But I think the Uchiha is. He's been giving me these weird looks ever since."

"Maybe that's why he kept ignoring me back then." Sakura stated as if she was gossiping with Neji.

"Yeah, I heard he had a thing for Naruto." Neji covered his mouth and whispered in Sakura's ear.

"Hey! I'm right here you know! I can HEAR what you guys are saying!" the Uchiha snapped.

"I'm not gay and I'm gonna prove it to you right now.." Sasuke smirked as he grabbed Sakura away from the Hyuuga.

"Sas-"

_Smooch._

* * *

><p><strong>LUCKY BITCH.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_


	5. The idiocy is slowly killing me

_Life ain't fair for idiots._

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><p><strong>M <strong>_e_ l **t** _d_ o **w** _n_

* * *

><p>Sakura woke to the smell of pancakes. The sun beamed down on her pale and flawless skin that radiated warmth in her body which made her giggle. But much to her surprise, the sight of her clothes made her uncomfortable. And so, she went out of her room, not bothering to fix herself up first, walking up to the boys who were seated at the kitchen table.<p>

"Good morning Sakura-chan!" Naruto greeted cheerfully as he gave her a huge grin.

"Do you guys have a death wish or something?" Sakura screeched.

"Huh?" they all gave confused looks except Sasuke, Neji and Shino, of course.

"Who changed my clothes?" she asked as she glared at them.

"I suppose that would be me." Sasuke stated plainly as if his life never depended on it.

Sakura stared and proceeded to sit next to a cross legged Uchiha who was currently reading the paper.

"Sasu-chan," she sighed.

The others, who were clearly baffled at the woman's reaction, were anticipating the folding of events.

"I know your gay and all, but that doesn't give you any right to look and touch my body, Sasu-chan..." she continued as she stole a strip of bacon from his plate.

"Sakura." he said in a deadly tone.

The speculators were trying so hard to suppress their laughter. Keyword: trying. And because their gawks of ridicule made him so annoyed he shot all his infamous "I'm an Uchiha. I'm better than you. Mess with me and I'll katon your asses." glare. Much to his favor, the others restrained themselves and acted like they were minding their business. The Uchiha was too preoccupied with Sakura's sentence that he did not notice that the others were still observing their little scene.

"Didn't you remember what happened _last night_?"

"Eh!" a wide eyed Sakura held out her left palm and placed her right fist over.

"So you remember?" Sasuke raised a brow.

"I had salmon, right? Was there anything wrong with it, Sasu-chan? What's that have to do with you being gay?" and so she kept on babbling.

The boys all sweatdropped at the sight of a very dense Sakura.

"Don't you remember about our kiss?"

"IYA! Yeah, I remember that! So..?" Sakura placed her head on her palm.

"Huh?"

"Do I really have to explain? And I thought you were smart." she said mostly to herself but it was audible to the others. "It is not proof enough to assure me of your sexuality, Sasu-chan. I mean, who knows, you might do that to Neji-chan right there," she pointed at the quivering Hyuuga, "and you might enjoy it."

Sasuke shrugged at her lines.

"There's nothing wrong with being bi, Sasu-chan." she gave him a smile. "Though that's not what floats my boat."

_3.2.1._

"Hn." he refused to acknowledge her at that moment.

"That's too bad for you, Uchiha. All your pathetic attempts in getting into her pants are backfiring." Neji smirked.

"You know, Hyuuga, the fact that she thinks I'm gay or bi doesn't excuse her thoughts on you." the Uchiha had not hesitated to act as if Sakura's was present in the room, with her being preoccupied with _his_ plate.

"W-What?"

"She still thinks your gay too."

At this, the Nara gave a lazy smirk.

"This goes for you too." Sasuke smirked at the disturbed Shikamaru.

"**HAHAHAHAHA! **Sasuke-teme, you are so right."

"She thinks the same of you." Neji pointed out.

"Hahaha! Naruto you got pwned!" the Inuzuka laughed.

"Do you think that you're an exception?" Naruto retorted.

"Why you-!"

"No wonder why Sakura-san thinks everyone is gay." Shino spoke.

"She thinks you're one too!" the rest yelled at the Aburame as he groaned at their response.

"Why don't you guys stop making a mess and start plotting ways to regain your dignity as MEN." Shikamaru interrupted.

"Hn."

"Whatever."

"Fine."

"I'd do better than Teme!"

"Shut up dobe."

* * *

><p>"Hey, Teme, have you thought of anything yet?" Naruto asked as he sat next to the stoic Uchiha.<p>

"..."

"Fine. Be that way. I don't care. I already got my own plan anyway."

"How troublesome. This was supposed to be a vacation. Why'd I lie to myself?"

"Shikamaru, you're too emo."

"Shut up. I've never expressed this side of me, EVER!"

"O-Okay..."

...

* * *

><p><strong>M <strong>_e_ l **t** _d_ o **w** _n_


	6. Neji's Date

_When an idiot thinks all hell will break loose._

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_

* * *

><p><em>Sigh.<em>

It had been a tiresome morning for Sakura. Having explain to Sasuke about what she thinks of his sexuality was not something she wanted to do in the morning. But she had fun eating/stealing his plate.

"I'm goin' to the beach." she said to particularly no one since none of her companions were listening.

The boys were in the living room doing what they usually do. Shikamaru thinking about troublesome things, Naruto and Kiba playing video games (they were, like, playing Super Mario XD), Neji and Sasuke having a glaring contest and Shino watching the event unfold.

"Whatever." she sighed as she left.

"You think she's suspecting anything?" Naruto asked.

"I don't think she is." Kiba replied as he beat a mushroom. (evil mushrooms must be squished to death!)

"Good. Then I will take my leave and pursue my plans." Neji got up and proceeded to head for the door.

"HEY! Wait, why'd you have to go first?" Naruto shouted resulting to Kiba's bleeding ears.

"I'm the eldest." Neji smirked as he left the room.

"Hn."

* * *

><p><em>What bastards want they don't always get. <em>

* * *

><p>"This is relaxing. To finally get away from all the idiocy." she said to herself as she settled down on a beach chair.<p>

"Tell me about it." spoke a voice beside her.

"Huh?" she looked at her right and saw an intriguing looking woman seated on the beach chair beside her.

"Oh, my apologies, I didn't mean to frighten you. I'm interrupting you in a conversation with yourself." she smiled.

"Oh no, it's okay. I don't mind. I'm just tired of all the idiots I had to deal with this week."

"I feel ya. I had to deal with a lot of idiots too."

"It's nice to have peace and quiet."

"Yeah..."

And so both smiled at each other and rested for a while until...

"Sakura-san." a tall figure stood above the kunoichi.

"Hey, you're blocking my sun." Sakura whined as she tried to make out who the man was.

At first it was hard to tell since he was against the light, but then she'd recognize his long hair anywhere.

"Neji-kun? What do you want?" she raised an eyebrow.

"Well, I was wondering if you wanted to go on a date now..." he closed his eyes to avoid her gaze.

"Sure! I mean, there's no harm in that, right? You are gay, after all." she grinned.

This caught the attention of the other woman. Said woman gazed at the two and thought, 'Could this be one of the idiots she was talking about? If my hunch is correct, then at least she doesn't have to handle two crazy hormonal bastards who try to sexually harass you in any way possible. She got it easy.' (and by two crazy hormonal bastards she meant her two childhood friends)

"Uh..." Sakura stared at the woman who had been so caught up with her thoughts that she looked as if she was gonna strangle someone.

"Ah!" the unnamed woman blushed at her unawareness.

"Seems like I have to go. See ya later, uh.."

"Konan."

"Sakura."

And then they left.

"Some people are much luckier than me. Life's a bitch." Konan sighed as she closed her eyes.

* * *

><p><em>Give idiots chances.<em>

* * *

><p>"Neji-kun, where are we going?" Sakura asked as she held Neji's hand.<p>

The Hyuuga couldn't help but blush at this.

"Huh?" he stared at the female.

He did not realize that he made a mistake.

A **HUGE** mistake.

Of course, being a member of the male species, naturally, he was a lot taller than her. And because of his strict upbringing and weird fate/destiny revolving life, he committed this error. (Okay, so maybe it wasn't because of the said reasons, so what?) Neji had not known that if he stared at her then he would have to be greeted with the sight of her great cleavage. She was wearing a pink bikini with flower petal designs on it.

And this caused a **HUGE** problem indeed.

"Neji-kun?" Sakura stared as he tried to hide his flushed face.

"Let's go for a walk along the beach." he tried not make eye contact.

"Okay." she smiled and held on his hand tightly.

He could feel her flesh brush up against his arm.

'Stupid hormones.' he thought as he gulped and tried to keep himself calm.

Sakura couldn't help but notice how toned his muscles were. Of course, being a ninja, they had to get those kinds of bodies due to all that training (well except for Chouji. he doesn't observe proper diet). But what interested Sakura most was something in his white board shorts. She looked up at Neji, who was not looking at her but some guys in the water (at least that's what she thought he was looking at) and came up with a slightly odd yet not really obvious conclusion.

"Neji-kun... you, uh.." Sakura pointed at his shorts.

"Ah." Neji blushed and took out something from his pocket which he figured caused some misunderstanding.

"I got this at the gift shop for you." he handed her a chocolate bar.

"Ooh! Chocolate!" she snatched the bar from his hand.

"Thanks, Neji-kun!" she tiptoed up and attempted to kiss him on the cheek.

He was caught off guard. And because of his shock he turned his head and was met with Sakura's lips on his.

"Ah!" Sakura blushed and smiled wearily at Neji.

"Gomen." she looked away but he grabbed her waist and kissed her full on the lips.

* * *

><p><strong>Bitch got lucky again.<strong>

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_


	7. Shino's Identity

_Idiots deserve underwear._

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_

* * *

><p>Sakura never expected for the week to be that much fun. Well, being kissed by gay retards isn't a bad thing, right?<p>

"Sakura-san." Neji stared at her.

"Ah. Yes?" she blushed as she came back from her thoughts.

"Your ice cream is he melting." he pointed at the liquid cascading down her long fingers.

"Oh," she giggled at its coldness as she licked it off her fingers, one by one.

**WHOREMOANS**- _ah, hormones. (typo? I think not.)_

_''Damn.'' _he cursed under his breath as he avoided her gaze.

"Thanks for the date Neji-kun." she gave him her winning smile. "But I have to go now."

"Wait. Before you go," he held her wrist. "tell me what you think."

"Huh?" she was clearly confused.

"About my... _sexuality_." he let go of her as he whispered the last part to her ear.

"Oh, if this is about that, then you don't have to worry!" Sakura proceeded to walk backwards away from him.

"Really?"

"Yeah! Your secret is safe with me!" she was about 3 meters away from him. "It's okay to be in denial, Neji-kun! But someday you should be honest with yourself and accept you have feelings for him!" she waved as she walked away from him.

"Ah."

_Wait._

_Him._

**Him?**

**THE HELL?**

* * *

><p><em>2 down 5 more to go<em>.

* * *

><p>"How'd your date go?" Sasuke asked as he looked at a sulking Hyuuga.<p>

"Hn." he smirked as he got a groan for a response from the other ice cube.

"Who's next?" Naruto asked.

"I am." Shino raised his hand.

"No way, you'd really do it?" Kiba laughed.

"Why not?" he replied coldly as he left.

Naruto and Kiba were left with confused looks.

* * *

><p><em>You can't be serious, but then, you're always serious.<em>

* * *

><p>"Hmm... That was fun. But I'd prefer relaxing more." Sakura sat on the beach chair she had left a while ago.<p>

"Seems like she isn't here anymore." she sighed at her loneliness.

"I wonder what the point of this vacation is." Sakura mumbled to herself as she tried to relax.

"May I offer you a smoothie ma'am?" Sakura shot up as she heard the voice.

She stared at the waiter who resembled someone Sakura knew. At first she thought it was a waitress but then he had no shirt on and his perfectly toned muscles gave her other ideas.

"You look like my friend, Ino." she smiled as she took a smoothie.

"Well, your friend must be handsome then."

"Yeah, I guess you could call her handsome."

"Eh?" he sulked at the word:_ her_.

'I knew I should have gotten a hair cut. I look like a girl.' he thought as he went away.

"Ooh, guava!" she giggled as she sipped the drink.

"So you like guava then?" Sakura looked at her right and saw a shirtless (though he had board shorts on) man wearing black shades.

Sakura spat out her drink as she realized it was Shino. He was too pale. Must be because of all that clothes he's always wearing.

"You know, I've always thought you were a vampire."

The Aburame raised an eyebrow as he settled down properly on the beach chair next to her.

"And why is that?" he asked though he was not used to idle conversations.

"Well, you're all dressed up in what seems to be heavy clothes and you never show your eyes and your too pale and-"

"I get it." a slightly annoyed Shino snapped.

Sakura giggled at his response.

"So what brings you here?" she asked.

"Well, the guys told me that you seem to think I am gay."

"Oh, well yeah, I think all men are."

"..."

_This woman got some issues._

"So... " Sakura whistled.

"..."

"..."

"I'm not gay." he blurted out.

"Huh? Did someone say you were?"

"You did."

"I said all _men_ are gay."

"Are you implying that I'm not a man?"

"Well, you kinda are, I mean, not a man."

"..."

"Shino-kun?"

"...?"

"I still think you're a vampire."

_She **really** had issues._

"Before I go I just want to-" and suddenly Sakura grabbed the back of his neck.

Smooch.

"There seems to be a weird pattern here."

"..."

"..."

"I'm not a vampire."

"Who said you were?"

"Urgh. You did."

"I said I thought you were a hemophiliac."

"Sakura-san, if I were a hemophiliac, then I wouldn't become a shinobi, won't I?"

"Uh... no."

"..." he stood and proceeded to walk away.

"You're still in denial, Shino-kun! Don't run away from your destiny!" she shouted from afar.

He looked back and saw no one on the beach chair. Little did he know Sakura was hiding in some bushes for protection. She didn't want to become a vampire. Although at one point she did, but this wasn't the right story. This was a story about ninjas on vacation. Not ninjas on vacation turn into vampires. No, no, no, that is another story. (okay... a little- scratch that- this is really off topic.)

* * *

><p><em>Well, if <strong>bitches<strong> are **that** lucky, I wanna **be** one._

* * *

><p><em><strong>M<strong>_e_l**t**_d_o**w**_n_  
><em>


	8. Kiba's Failure

_Idiots should share the love!_

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p><em>Woof.<em>

Sakura couldn't help but notice the stray puppy behind her, especially when it licked her butt. Yeah, puppies are perverted too.

"Ah! You're too cute!" she said as she held it.

She was surprised to see a puppy here since the hotel didn't allow pets. Though they never really had to smuggle in Kiba just to get him inside. He's... another story. Well, she supposed she couldn't leave it in the bushes. (she was still hiding in the bushes. lol)

"Well, might as well keep it. Until the hotel manager know what to do with it." she sighed as she went back to her beach chair.

She was glad that there weren't many people in her area that time, since some had to go to lunch. So she sat the puppy on her lap as she settled back into her seat.

"Wow, I didn't know you were a dog person, Sakura." Kiba spoke as he went to sit beside the pink haired kunoichi.

"Ah, Kiba-kun! Well, I found him in the bushes when I was hiding from Shino-kun-"

"Why were you hiding from Shino?" he asked as he raised an eyebrow.

"Between you and me," she gestured for him to come closer.

"I think he's a vampire." she whispered.

At this Kiba laughed so loud it made the dog bark.

"Shh! Shh!" Sakura tried to calm the animal down.

"What's wrong?"

"The hotel doesn't allow pets," she looked at him with weary eyes.

"Don't worry, I'll calm him down." he assured her as he took the animal away from her.

Curious to see what he was going to do, she stared at the two observantly. Kiba had whispered something to the dog and it wagged it's tail.

"What did you say to it?"

"Oh, I just said that the pretty lady beside me likes dogs that don't bark much." he grinned hoping to earn cool points.

"No I don't." she said plainly as she smiled at him.

"..." Kiba looked at the dog staring at him.

It then hopped off of Kiba's lap and went back into the bushes. Hmm... what could he be doing in there?

"Sakura," Kiba started to get all fidgety. "I... I..."

"I know, Kiba. I know." she gave him a sly smile.

"So you do! Phew! And here I thought I was gonna do a lot of explaining." Kiba tried resting on the chair.

To his surprise, Sakura stood up and went over to him. She faced him and placed her soft hands on his cheeks. She pulled him towards her and engaged him in a full lip lock.

"Mmmph..." Kiba was truly shocked.

_Bastard._

"Ah," Sakura let go for a breath. "..."

"S-Sakura,"

"You wanted me to teach you that right?" she smiled as she went back to her own chair.

"HUH?"

"Well, since gay people and a vampire are kissing me lately, I figured you just wanted me to teach you how to kiss." she innocently stated.

"Teach-?"

"Yup."

"So you still think I'm gay, huh?" Kiba sulked.

"Well, yeah." she smiled.

"Wait. What if I do **_it_** to you?" he smirked as he moved closer to Sakura.

"**It**? I don't think you'd want to do **it** with me, Kiba-kun." she forced a smile as the boy got too close to comfort.

"But what if I do?" he smirked as he felt her breath on his lips.

"I suppose I could teach you, but then if Naruto were to find out, he'd probably be upset with you and me." Sakura placed a finger on her lip.

**NARUTO?**

**NARUTO?**

"So, I guess I can't teach you, Kiba-kun." she smiled and went away.

Unfortunately, the Kiba was frozen stiff so it took a while for him to get back to the room. The guys thought that he'd succeeded with his plan.

**NARUTO?**

**NARUTO?**

_Damn._

* * *

><p><em>Adding insult to injuries, well, in his case, injuries to insults.<em>

* * *

><p>"What happened?" Naruto asked.<p>

"..." Kiba ignored Naruto as he went to his room.

"His plan backfired, obviously." Shikamaru stated.

"You guys just don't understand how Sakura works," Sasuke spoke as he took the attention of his company.

"Like you know any better, gay princess." Neji stuck out a tongue. (that's so unlike him)

"How mature of you, Hyuuga."

"Hn."

"Anyway, as I was saying, Sakura's like a wall." Sasuke shot them a smirk.

"A wall?" Naruto asked.

"Yes,"

"Why'd you compare her to a wall? She's not even that flat-chested!" Naruto interrupted, this earned him a smack on the head.

"Dobe."

"Teme! That hurts."

"..."

"Don't ignore me!"

"..."

"Continue with what you were saying."

"Douche, figure that out for yourself. I'm done talking." he said as he left for his room.

"TEME!"

"..."

"TEMEEEE!"

"Shut up, Naruto. I'm trying to think." Shikamaru glared.

Naruto stuck out his tongue at the shadow manipulator.

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**


	9. Sasuke's Disappointment

_When idiots strike!_

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p>The Following Day...<p>

Sakura had gone to breakfast before any of the boys got up and left a note on the fridge saying that she'd be at the hot springs. (the hotel was conveniently sited next to one.)

Minutes after she had gone the rest of the gang got up and ate their breakfast. Sasuke walked out of the room feeling more arrogant than ever. (could that even be possible. who cares? he's hot.)

"I wonder what Teme would do..." Naruto said out loud.

"He'd probably do something only bastards would do." Kiba replied as he chewed on a toast.

"Like what?"

"RAPE. I dunno.." he said as he turned away from the blonde.

"WHAAA-?"

"Calm down, Uzumaki." Shikamaru interrupted. "Let the Uchiha be."

"BUT BUT BUT-"

"Damnit. Shut up. Sakura's strong enough to handle a situation like that." Kiba explained.

"YOU'RE RIGHT!" Naruto gave them a thumbs up.

"Geez. You're so hyper." Shikamaru muttered.

"He must've had weed yesterday." Neji nodded.

* * *

><p><em>When an idiot touches you, you must be interesting. But when an idiot of an Uchiha touches you, it's rape.<em>

* * *

><p>A bathrobe clothed Sakura was in some kind of a predicament. She had sought to find the women's baths but her luck was at a disadvantage. After 15 minutes of searching in some mysterious hallways and she felt an enigmatic presence of a man beside her. She turned to her right to face the stranger only to be greeted with a mask. She was curious at first but decided to brush the idea off.<p>

"Umm... Excuse me, Sir, but where are the women's baths?" the pink haired kunoichi asked.

"I'll lead you there." the masked man did as he said.

They walked down a few hallways and finally reached the destination. The stranger opened the door for her and left without a sound. She was surprised to see no one but got in the water, nonetheless. After a few minutes of rejuvenation and relaxation, she felt that it was rather lonely. So, to end her loneliness, she decided to step out of the water (naked, mind you.) Just then a familiar presence appeared in front of the kunoichi.

"Sakura. You know, you might catch a cold soon, seeing as you are completely naked and wet." there was malice in his tone as he stepped closer.

"Sasuke." she blushed and went back in the water to hide her exposed form.

"You look like death."

"You know, Sasuke, I was really worried who it might have been. Had it been a real rapist... well, I may be a kunoichi but I still am a woman."

"Hn."

"Wait. Why are you here, Sasu-chan?" she asked as she forgot about him seeing her naked a while ago.

"This is the mixed baths."

"Eh?"

"Besides, you haven't thanked me for leading you here..." he smirked.

"Aww, Sasu-chan, you should've just asked if you wanted some 'girl-to-girl' talk, you know. No need for you to lead me to the wrong bath house."she laughed as she avoided his gaze.

"Sakura, I'm not gay." he stated with an annoyed tone.

"Haha! Of course you are, if you wouldn't be, you would've gotten turned on by now."

"Contrary to popular belief, Sakura, we Uchihas do get turned on when we need to compel forced submission on our prey..." he smirked as he went in the water and attempted to try and seduce the pink-haired woman.

"Forced submission...?" Sakura yelped as she was cornered.

"I am going to prove to you that I am not gay." and then he attempted to kiss her.

But then, that's just it. He had attempted to do so, but then quickly failed due to his inability to block off her fist.

"Ow." he said as he rubbed his nose.

Though it had hurt like hell, Sakura didn't put in much effort in that punch so as to avoid causing complications like nosebleeds.

"Sasu-chan, if you wanted to experience the joys of kissing, I believe that I am not the one fit for the job." she stated as she got out of the water quickly and wrapped a towel on her form.

"And why do you conclude such?" he was clearly irritated with her.

"Well, for starters, it wouldn't be fair if you you got TWO tutorials when the other guys only had one and that I think you should go practice with Neji-kun. You seem to have a romantic aura between you two." she smiled as she proceeded to walk away from the Uchiha who was currently stunned at her statement.

_Romantic...?_

_Him and the Hyuuga...?_

**To hell with this **

* * *

><p><em>Of idiocy and iodized salt.<em>

* * *

><p>"So, Uchiha, how did it go? Not that I care enough to know." Neji rolled his eyes as he saw the sulking Sasuke.<p>

"Shut. Up." he didn't want to think about it now because, of all the people, it had to the Huuga.

"TEME!" Naruto greeted with a huge grin only to be met with a glare.

"Eh? What's his problem?" Naruto turned to look at Shikamaru who only shrugged.

"Maybe he has salt in his pants or something." Kiba stated.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

"HAHAHAHAHA!" Naruto laughed.

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: Uh... hey. So, uh, I'm so sorry for not updating soon and for this being a very short and crappy chapter. I've been busy with my comics lately and I had to learn how to draw action scenes. And then I had to write this chapter twice cause my idiotic other self forgot to save this... sigh... and I was thinking about my life lately.. May is about to come and it'll be like the middle of summer vacation and the frickin' sun is getting hotter by the second. Damn. Anyways, I'll be uploading the next chapter soon, but I still haven't gotten any inspiration for Shikamaru and Naruto's alone time with Sakura...

Imma havin' a headache just thinkin' about this... sigh..


	10. Shikamaru's Troublesome Thoughts

_Idiots can be geniuses too, right?_

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p><em>It is only right for the man to ask the girl right? Naah, way too troublesome. <em>

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.

.Shikamaru could hardly stand the people around him. But he was far too lazy to complain. He had been stuck with Sakura at the hotel's recreational center for children for two hours six minutes and thirty five seconds, but really, who was counting? He had hated the fact that he was surrounded by too many brats at that time that it had took him all of his will power not to snap because, well, he _was_ Shikamaru and he _was_ too _lazy_ to do such troublesome things.

"Shika-kun, look look! I scored a shot!" Sakura jumped with glee as she had been attempting to score a point at a basketball game machine (you know, where you shoot the ball and all that crap..)

The Nara merely scowled as he stared at her for assurance that he was listening and had acknowledged her victory. Bothered by his bored expression, the kunoichi went up to the pineapple headed male and tugged on his hand.

"Huh?" he arched an eyebrow at her smiling face.

"Here. Come with me." and then she pulled him out of the stuffy room and led him to another recreational area. Only this time, it was for senior citizens.

He had noticed that there weren't that many people around, only a few oldies who sat on couches in the far secluded corner of the somewhat large room.

"What the-?" he muttered under his breath as they stood in front of a table that was specially designed for shogi.

"Let's play, Shika-kun!" she smiled.

"Troublesome." he smirked as they sat opposite from each other and started the game.

Halfway through the battle, Shikamaru had remembered his purpose as to why he was with her in the first place.

"Sakura, I am not-" he stopped in mid sentence as she did something particularly pride breaking.

"Aha! I won!" Shikamaru's eyes widened.

_Had I been to consumed in my thoughts to even notice that she was beating me? Well, sure Sakura's bright and intelligent but... _he thought as he stared at her in disbelief.

"So, Shika-kun, what were you about to say?" Sakura questioned as she placed both of her palms under her chin.

"Urgh." Shikamaru brushed off the fact that he had been careless. "I'm not gay."

She blinked. "Of course you aren't, silly!" she laughed at him.

_Could it be? Had he finally managed to accomplish what the other idiots couldn't?_

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

It would only be in a matter of seconds when Sakura would crush his dream.

"I mean, who would be happy to lose a fairly conducted battle?"

_... (I thought so...)_

"Sakura, the gay I meant here is that..." suddenly he was caught off by a third party who was only passing by.

"He's gay?" a blond woman asked Sakura.

"Apparently, he is..." Sakura patted the woman's back.

"Ah, what a pity. All the buff and handsome guys are coming out of the closet nowadays..." the woman said as she began to leave.

"Yeah, and apparently, most of the women I pity are also blondes too." Sakura murmured.

Shikamaru got what she said by blondes. He had noticed Ino and Temari getting all lovey dovey with him.

"How troublesome, I give up." Shikamaru said to himself.

"What's there to give up on, honey. The game's over." Sakura winked at him. "Or perhaps you want me to teach you too."

"Teach?"

And at that he was caught in a lip lock with the kunoichi.

Damn.

"Have you been 'teaching' the others as well?" he ignored the previous situation.

"Well, they had been asking for it." Sakura placed a finger on her lip. "Wait, are you jealous? So you fancy someone in the group? Don't worry Shika-kun, I never made it all the way with any of them. Though Kiba had asked that, I was obliged to recline, knowing it might break Naruto's heart."

"...?"

"Oh well, I best be going, since Naruto requested my presence at the nearby ramen shop. He said to come after this." she smiled and went on her way.

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_._

_Women are too troublesome._

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><p><em>When you really think about it, women really are troublesome.<em>

* * *

><p>"Shikamaru! How'd it go?" Kiba piped up.<p>

"Troublesome." and at that he went inside his room and stared at the pineapple.

"..."

"..."

"..."

"..."

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p><strong>AN**: I think I'm loosing my touch. But c'mon, it's not like I had that much to offer, right? I mean, just by reading this chapter, this short and uncared for chapter, you'd realize my pathetic attempts at making it sound... interesting. Though I may have failed (miserably) I'll try to look at the bright side (if there is any) and be more optimistic about constructive criticisms...

Gahh... whatever.. this is too tiresome. It's not like anyone's gonna bother to read this part anyway... why would I even bother. But if you are... then raise your paws! :0

I hated those periods. They're totally disturbing.


	11. Naruto's Sadness

_If anything, he is nothing but an idiot._

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><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**

* * *

><p>"Sakura-chan!" Naruto beamed at the sight of the pink-haired kunoichi.<p>

"Naruto, stop being so loud!" she gave him a smile as she sat beside him.

They were at a nearby ramen stand (obviously that's where he would take her). There were only a few customers that day so they found it easier to go about and be loud.

"Naruto, seriously, what did you request my presence for?" Sakura asked as she ate some noodles.

"AsdfghjKl" Naruto could hardly talk right as he was gulping down his sixth bowl.

"Eww. Gross, Naruto. Don't talk while eating!"

_Speak for yourself, Sakura. Speak for yourself._

"I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, it's just that I was so excited that I forgot to eat breakfast and I had something to tell you but then the ramen here is as delicious as Ichiraku's." he explained with his signature goofy grin.

"Yeah yeah." Sakura waved a hand and smiled.

"Sakura-chan, I got something to tell you." Naruto fidgeted. This was so unlike him. It was as if Hinata's ministrations rubbed off on him.

"What?" she raised a brow as she placed a hand on her chin.

"I'm.. I'm a real man, Sakura-chan." Naruto declared.

"Eh?" she stared blankly at first but after a few seconds she burst out into fits of laughter.

"Sa-Sakura-chan! Why're you laughing?"

After a few minutes of laughing at the confused Naruto and healing her aching stomach she finally replied, "You're so in denial!" and then she laughed at his face again.

Some of the customers started walking away after seeing Sakura rolling on the floor like a mad man as she clutched her stomach and laughed into oblivion. Her laughter seemed to echo into the Uzumaki's head and he was getting a little sad.

"Sakura-chan! I mean it! I'm not gay!" Naruto pouted.

"Sorry, Naruto, but the time you kissed Sasuke full on the lips, back in the academy days, proved otherwise." Sakura snickered.

Then due to disappointment that Sakura refused to believe him, he sulked on a corner ( so un-Naruto like!). Though it wasn't surprising that he was still eating ramen. (haha! comfort food, anyone?)

"Naruto..." Sakura wiped a tear from her eye as she rubbed her aching stomach.

"What...?" he turned his gloomy head (which looked epically funny btw).

"Oh..." Sakura looked at him and saw that he was glum.

"Cheer up, Naruto, I mean, Kiba's there for you isn't he?" Naruto twitched an eye.

**Kiba?**

**KIBA?**

**FUDGE.**

"So to apologize for being mean to you by laughing away like that..." she smiled at him. "I'll teach you how to kiss."

"Kiss?" Na

"Yes, so that you and Kiba could share the best passionate kiss after you guys confess your love for each other!" without second thoughts she had him engaged in a fierce lip lock.

And all throughout the kiss, all he could think about was the horror that Sakura inflicted upon him...

**KIBA!**

* * *

><p><em>No idiot can succeed in convincing the queen idiot which was Sakura.<em>

* * *

><p>"We don't need to ask how it went. It's already written across your dumb face!" Kiba laughed.<p>

Of all the people, it had to be KIBA.

"Sh-Shut up!" Naruto fumed as a faint blush crept across his face.

"Eh?" Kiba noticed the jinchuriki's change of expression and he blushed.

"Maybe Sakura was right." Neji said as he stared at the both of them.

"Yeah, maybe these two are gay." Shikamaru stated as nodded at Neji.

"No shit, Sherlock." Sasuke commented as he stared at Naruto and muttered "Dobe."

"TEME!" Naruto yelled at the smirking Uchiha.

"Speak for yourselves. Idiots." Shino spoke bluntly.

"Shut up! At least we don't look like vampire freaks!" Kiba yelled.

_Chaos. Disturbing gay chaos. _

Just then the person they wanted to see the least appeared.

"SAKURA!" they all shouted at once.

"Whoah. Chill. Chill. No need to shout. I am perfectly able to hear you from here." she said as she rubbed her ears.

"What are you doing here?" Neji asked.

"Well, this _is_ the room I'm _staying_ in..." she said sarcastically as if they didn't know the obvious.

They all rolled their eyes at her.

"Wait. Were you guys..._ oh_..." at this the guys had confused and irritated looks.

"I should go..." she smirked at them.

Before leaving she muttered "Sorry for disturbing your fun." and then she closed the door gently.

"What. The. Hell."

"Shit. She thinks we're really gay now!" Kiba shouted.

"It's all Hyuuga's fault." Sasuke stated as he pointed an accusing finger at Neji.

"What the hell are you saying, Uchiha? Are you too stupid not to realize that this mess started all because of you and your sexually deprived love life?" Neji retorted as he got into a glaring match with Sasuke.

"Oh you're one to talk. It's not like you have hormones yourself, you're too sissy, girls wouldn't want to sleep with you. They don't need another pussy."

"So you're playing that game, eh?"

"Yuck. I'd never play a game with gays like you."

"Bastard."

"You too."

And now they started to fight physically and trashed the place. They were oblivious to the forming audience which consisted of the remaining four.

"Whoah! This is better than live porn." Kiba whispered to the three who nodded in agreement.

* * *

><p><strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**


	12. The Idiotic Truth

_Idiots stick together till the end._

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><p><em> <strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**_

* * *

><p>Sadly, it was the end of their vacation and weirdly enough they were told to report everything to Tsunade. The trip back home had been boring (AN: this is because I was too lazy to think of an interesting trip back home and I couldn't wait to write the sequel.)

When they finally reached Konoha, the pink-haired kunoichi rushed to the hokage tower and dish about the things she discovered. Unfortunately, well, for the guys anyway, news spread like butter about their... sexuality. And it wasn't even fifteen minutes after Sakura ran to her mentor. The villagers eyed them suspiciously while the other kunoichis their age simply giggled.

"We have a problem in our hands." Tsunade muttered to herself as she stared at particularly nothing.

"Eh? Tsunade-sama? What's wrong?" she asked.

"Uh, I'll tell you later, why don't you gather the others here?" Tsunade gave her apprentice a smile.

"Okay!" before she left for the door Tsunade held her wrist.

"Bring Uchiha Itachi too." Sakura nodded and left the second the older woman let go of her.

* * *

><p><em>Oblivious idiots are a problem.<em>

* * *

><p>"EEEH? YOU GUYS PLANNED THIS TRIP?" Sakura screamed at the top of her lungs.<p>

They had all gathered at the hokage's office. And they seemed to be annoyed with Sakura's current state.

"Yes, Sakura-chan, I had been the one to slip the 'flyer' about the ramen eating contest. But really, this had been Tsunade-sama's idea." Itachi explained as he smiled at the worried Sakura.

"Tsunade-sama? Why?" she turned to look at her mentor.

"Well, Sakura." she stared at her student. "I'm not getting older here and I want to see grandchildren."

"HUH?" the seven stared at her in disgust.

"We're not even related..." Sakura muttered under her breath.

"Whatever." Tsunade brushed her comment off.

"But why..." she looked the six men behind her. "...them?"

Tsunade had an enigmatic gleam in her eyes. "Well, you see, I have completely planned all this out." and so began her explaination."

"Hyuuga Neji, the prodigy of the Hyuuga clan. A possessor of a kekkai genkai."

"Aburame Shino, the heir to the Aburame clan. Intelligent."

"Inuzuka Kiba, heir to the Inuzuka clan. Cunning."

"Uchiha Sasuke, a member of the famous Uchiha clan. A possessor of an infamous kekkai genkai."

"Nara Shikamaru, has an I.Q. of over a two hundred. Intelligent tactician."

"Uzumaki Naruto, a potential rokudaime. Idiot."

At that last Naruto yelled a "Hey!" at the hokage. Sakura thought it over. And over and over and over. And it finally processed in her brain.

"So basically, you want me to marry an idiot and become a baby machine?" Sakura asked bluntly. The boys all twitched at her reaction.

"Yes." Tsunade simply smiled at her.

"Uh," Sakura was speechless.

"Well, if you don't like those guys, there's always Itachi-san here." Tsunade pointed at the older Uchiha.

Itachi simply smiled which earned him six glares from six supposedly angry gay guys.

"Face it. He's got the whole package! He's an ANBU captain, the heir to the Uchiha clan, and he's like so hot!" the last comment had Sakura taken aback.

"But you see, shisou, I think they're all gay for each other." Sakura explained. "But if I were to choose one, I'd choose..."

All were wide eyed and eager to know Sakura's answer.

"I'd choose (Insert Reader's Favored Guy Here) !"

"The wedding shall take place tomorrow!" Tsunade beamed.

* * *

><p><em> <strong>M<strong>e_l_t**d**_o_w**_n_**_

* * *

><p><strong><strong>AN****: Crappy ending, I know. So sue me! I've been in a sad mood lately. This led to the making of my new story pungent. Do read it if you have the time. It's on my profile, no duh, I bet you knew that already.. haha oh well. The sequel would be entitled "Aftershock"... D: haha.. yeah..

...

review.. or not.. whatever.. :O


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